I can't stop reading, been sitting in this park all night
My eyes are bleeding, but I've still got to read this shite
All this Tory correspondence
None of it makes very much sense
Oliver Letwin, I'll shred your mail
Oliver Letwin I'll go to jail
And I would rather be anyone else
Than an MP today
There was a cheque for Charlie
He'll never get it in the post
And we're no laughing party
We're Tory boys right to the core
Only takes a full black bin liner
For the press to give you a shiner
Oliver Letwin, I read my stash
Oliver Letwin, put in the trash
And I would rather be anywhere else
Than in the media today
Cameron is up for grabs
I left his laptop in a cab
Letters on these troubled times
MPs expenses and financial crimes
The old boys from Eton and Oxford signed
But there's no danger
It's an unbreakable career
I know I can't be fired
Cos I'm in it right up to here
So if you're out of luck and can't pay your bills
I'll send your letters to landfill
Oliver Letwin, I'm here to stay
Oliver Letwin, in the park all day
And I would rather be anyone else
Than an MP today
And I would rather be anyone else
Than an MP today